A while back I read Ruth Suokop’s Living Well, Spending Less 12 Secrets to the Good Life. Before I started reading it, I knew I would want to write a post about my own secrets to a good life, so I wrote them all down before I started reading her book (I added some more afterwards). We have a lot of things on our list in common, but Ruth’s book is really about how to achieve the Good Life, while my post is about what makes a life good. After all, that’s a bit different for all of us!
Here are my 13 Secrets to The Good Life!
Trust the Lord
This isn’t always easy especially when life is rough. And I’m a worrier by nature. Which I know God doesn’t want me to be. So when those worrisome thoughts pop up, I try to remind myself that I don’t know what the future holds, but I know the One who does know what the future holds and He will take care of me. He knows what is coming and He promised in Hebrews 13:5, “I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.”
Choose the Right Partner
I realize not everyone wants to get married but if you do, it’s important to choose the right partner. You want someone who has similar values, morals, and life goals. You want someone you can trust, who is supportive, and who you enjoy being around.
My husband Rex is all this and more! I know he doesn’t think it’s possible but he is exactly what I prayed for as a young girl. He’s a Christian. He lives a clean life – no drinking, smoking, or drugs. He is someone I can trust, He is a good friend. Supportive. Creative. Funny. Smart. All I ever wanted.
We also have similar life goals. Neither of us wanted children and we both have creative, entrepreneurial spirits.
Buy a Home Within Your Budget
This is so important to not just a good life but a peaceful life. So many people go for all the bells and whistles and want the biggest house they can get. Instead, they end up with huge house payments that bring them nothing but stress.
It’s not worth it. Besides the bigger the home the more stuff you need to fill it up!
Obviously, if you have kids or want kids in the future that is something to take into consideration when buying a home, but remember bigger isn’t always better, not if it means struggling to make your payment every month.
My husband and I chose a home well within our budget. Our home isn’t huge and we sacrificed a few wants – like a laundry room and walk-in closets, but we have a nice yard, a workshop for Rex, and are in a quiet neighborhood.
I also wanted an open floor plan at the time. But you know what! I’m so glad we don’t have one! This way unexpected visitors don’t see my kitchen if it’s a mess!
Pets
Pets make a house a home!
Like I said we don’t want children so our pets are the stand-ins. We have two dogs and a cat. They bring us so much joy and laughter!
They are the best companions! And are always excited when we come home.
Make Time for Family
Family is what it’s all about. And as I get older I realize this more and more.
Family is one of the reasons I left retail and started my own business. I want to be able to be there for them when they need me. I don’t want to miss holidays or birthdays or other special events because of work.
And working for myself means that when my 8-year-old nephew calls me just to tell the daily gossip, I can pick up the phone without any one saying otherwise!
Make Time for Friends
I’ve been friends with the same group of girls for over 25 years! How did we stay friends that long? Well, we made our friendship a priority.
We may not get to see each other as much as we would like, but we have semi-regular girl’s nights and are always there to help celebrate the big events in each other’s lives.
Read Lots of Books
I know not everyone like to read – and to this, I say you haven’t found the right book yet!
I have always loved books! Before I could read for myself I loved being read to. With books, you can go anywhere, and visit any time period. You can be a wizard. A hobbit. A tribute. A girl detective. A Southern belle.
The possibilities are endless.
You can also learn about anything you want to learn about. I’ve read books on finances, habit-building, minimalism, and being an entrepreneur. Books have helped me to grow and become a better person. Books make life more full and interesting.
Have a Creative Outlet
It’s important to have a creative outlet. Something that is just for you and that you do just because you love it. Creativity can even help your mental health!
You may say to yourself that you’re not creative. But everyone is creative. I think sometimes we confuse being creative with being artsy or crafty and that’s not the case. If you really think about it, we use creativity all the time. The problems you solve in your job or for your family take creativity.
And anything can be your creative outlet. It can be art or crafts like I mentioned above or cooking. Baking Refurbishing furniture. Journaling. Drawing. Writing. Playing an instrument. Dancing.
Blogging is my creative outlet of choice and has been since 2010. I may not be able to blog as often as I like but when I feel a need for my own creative space I know it will always be here.
Know What Success Looks Like for You
Success looks different for each of us. For some, it’s making 6 or 7 figures a year. A big house. A fancy car. Expensive clothes. There is nothing wrong with those things but they are a stereotypical version of success. And that just doesn’t appeal to everyone.
For me, success looks like…
- having a happy marriage and being this kind of wife to my husband, “The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.”—Proverbs 31:11-12
- Being the kind of Aunt to my nieces and nephews that I my Aunt Joeldean was to me
- being there for my friends when they need me.
- making enough to always be able to pay our bills on time and have money left over to buy the things we want, travel, and keep the fur kids in treats.
- not having to ask someone else if I can take a day off or go on vacation.
- being excited about the work I’m doing.
- having the weekends off and not waking up to an alarm clock every day
- having very wide margins in my schedule.
- being able to help others.
My version of success makes me happy and excited about life. Yours should too.
Accept that Some Things in Life Are Never Done
There are some things in life that will never truly be done. And once you accept that life is a lot easier. Laundry. The dishes. Yard Work. Paying bills. Those things are never really done. You always have to do them. It’s just life.
Adopting this mindset means that I won’t let little things like finding dirty dishes or a pile of dirty socks after I just started the dishwasher or finished the laundry upset me. Because that can be annoying if we let it. (Especially if you’re in perimenopause where anything little thing can set you off!)
And you want to know something else that is never done? Me! And you! We are always growing and changing. And that is part of what makes life more interesting. I don’t want to be the same me today that I was 10 years ago. I want to see improvement and growth! (Just not growth around the waistline!)
Find a Balance that Works for You
Prefect balance doesn’t exist. Or at least it doesn’t exist all the time. There are times when work will be crazy and requires more of your attention. And there are times family life will be hectic and your attention will be needed more there.
That’s just life. And don’t beat yourself up because one area is taking over for a little while. Instead make peace with that and find a balance that works for you and your current season of life.
Create Morning/ Evening Routines
Routines are the best! One reason that I love them is that when life gets a bit out of control my routines are what I can come back to get myself in order again.
Creating a morning and evening routine really helps me ensure that I’m doing the things that are most important to me every day. Things like reading my Bible, praying, writing. Taking care of Cap and the pets. Taking care of myself.
One thing I have learned about routines is that you shouldn’t create one and then just go with it forever. Regularly review your routines to ensure that they are still benefiting you and your current season of life. It’s ok to change your routines up as needed. And trust me it will be needed from time to time.
Give Back
One of the best things you can do in life is give. The Lord has blessed with so much and He has allowed me to be used to bless others throughout my life. It’s a wonderful thing! And you’ll never regret following where the Lord leads you when it comes to giving.
I hope you enjoyed reading my secrets to a good life. And I’d love to hear some of your secrets to living a good life! Overall it’s different for all of us, but it will be interesting to see what we have in common! Leave some of you secrets in the comments!
