On July 1st, the doctor told us my Mom had cancer and was possibly in the last 6 months of her life.
We got 19 days.
The doctors missed the cancer until it had spread to her lungs. She had other health issues that I believe hid the real issues.
3 doctors missed it until it was too late. Her health was so poor that the doctors didn’t think she should do chemo and Mom didn’t want to.
They seemed to think that Mom dying was no big deal. She had 77 years. That’s was a good, long life.
But it was a big deal to us. She was somebody to us.
I’m so angry at those doctors.
Her final days were hard.
It was hard watching her die.
It was hard watching my Dad lose the woman he loved most. He took such good care of her.
My sister and I did what we could to help.
God sent us good, kind, and respectful people to enable us to give Mom the best care possible.
I asked Him why he hadn’t shown the doctors what was going on? Why He hadn’t protected her. I heard a still small voice say, “How do you know I didn’t?”
So that is what I choose to believe. God protected her. It all happened quickly. She didn’t linger and suffer for a long time.
I got to have my Mom for 46 years. That’s more than many people get, but not nearly as many as I thought we would have together.
Our relationship was complicated. Mostly because we both wanted control of the same thing – ME.
But we loved each other. Through all the ups and downs I always knew my Mom loved me.
My mom taught me to be generous.
I don’t think Mom would’ve thought of her self as generous, but I always did. She was the kind of Mom who got her plate last because she wanted to make sure everyone else got all they wanted. Even though she and Dad always fixed more than enough for all of us.
Even as she lay in the hospital, in her last days on this earth, she told the nurse to get me a blanket because she was afraid I’d get cold.
She taught me how to clean, and do laundry, and how to make spaghetti.
She taught me to pay my bills first and on time.
She taught me if you’re going to do something do it right. And she taught me so much more.
And most the most important thing she and Dad did was raise us in church so we could learn about Jesus and His Word.
She never met a stranger. She loved to tell people about her Saviour, Jesus Christ. She loved to talk about the Bible and Dr. Ruckman.
My parents homeschooled my sister and me. Dad said it was something Mom wanted to do, so we did it. This was the 90s and no one was home schooling then.
She had her own look too. Overalls and T-shirts every day. It was the late 80s or early 90s when she started wearing them. Poppy made them for her. She was rocking the “personal uniform” way before Steve Jobs made it cool.
Intentionally or not, my Mom taught me you didn’t have to live life like everyone else.
I know I’ll see her again one day. And until then I’ll love and miss her everyday.
